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  • Robin Blumenthal

Raise your hand if you are a "yeller"...

Updated: Sep 29, 2020

I teach a lot of Parenting the Love and Logic Way™ classes and I always ask this question. Experience has taught me that about 40-50% of parents will raise their hands in answer to the question: "Are you a 'yeller'". Experience has also taught me that the vast majority of parents wish they were not "yellers". At the end of our 6 week classes, I often ask for parents to share things that they have changed as a parent. The most common response? "I am yelling a lot less." Here are some tips if you would like to stop yelling:

  • Don't remind or nag. Let the natural consequences of their actions do the teaching. (if you say to yourself, "but I don't want him/her to have to....be late, go hungry, be tired, miss the party, etc" - THAT is the natural consequence).

  • Don't argue - "I Love you too much to argue and fight with you on this. I will take care of it." (Kids will soon learn that your 'taking care of it' might mean more chores for them, less choices and options later, or an energy drain).

When you share control, you expend less energy trying to control the things you can't - and have more energy for enforcing the things you can. Try using choices and these Enforceable Statements for many common issues parents deal with:

  • Feel free to turn the TV on when your homework is done.

  • I am happy to buy treats for kids who brush their teeth regularly.

  • Feel free to join us for dinner when your toys are picked up. Dinner will be on the table for 40 more minutes.

  • I do laundry when it is in the hamper by 8:00am Monday.

  • I provide my children a cell phone when I have access to check their use of it.

  • The car is leaving at 7:30am.

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